Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways To Handle Yourself With Grace And Style | HuffPost Is Your Friend Dating Your Ex? 3 Ways To Handle Yourself With Grace And Style | HuffPost

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I asked quite a few people this question, and most said they would be okay if their ex was dating an acquaintance. You've got the relationship; your friend does not. If they mistreated your friend and left them not just broken-hearted but seriously messed up, why would you want to date them?

Brian had been divorced for three years when he filled out the cumbersome eHarmony profile. It's nice to ask one or two close friends to help you out.

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They can keep you posted on what they see and hear about this new relationship, as it's never fun to be the last to know.

If you've found yourself facing this situation as the person whose friend and ex are now dating, here are a few tips on how to handle yourself with style and grace: Please remember that feelings can easily be hurt on all sides.

None of this sounds awful or insurmountable, right? An odd thing to ask, right?

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Several of my divorced friends in New York City, where I live, described to me that over the years they have been matched up through introductions, internet dating sites, and serendipity with potential partners who were once married to someone they knew. After some initial hesitation for the same reason, Angie agreed to go out with him, and their first date led to a delightful courtship that culminated in marriage.

Is Dating Your Ex-Wifes Friend Crossing The Line ?

She told me that she met him and his wife because their children once attended the same school. Why cause pain to someone you care about and who cares about you in return? One person figuratively commented, "It's okay if someone near my home dated my ex, but not too close to home. In their particular circumstances, Angie had been divorced for five years and Brian had not spoken to his old friend in over a decade.

Please note that all names in this post have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Same advice, different meaning. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to be prepared. What won't be excused is dishonesty -- for example, making your friend believe it's "nothing serious" when it really is, or lying about where you really were on Friday night when you bailed on that group dinner.

If you get caught in a confrontation, just smile, have a pre-planned friendly sentence or two to recite, keep it short and sweet, and move on.

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And some of those folks may have previously been wed to a person you are familiar or even friendly with. Consider taking the high road by addressing the situation directly with the acquaintance prior to getting involved with their ex.

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There is a good chance that when you start dating, no matter where you live, you will come across some potential candidates that you are already acquainted with.

Don't force them to come to that conclusion any sooner than they are comfortable with. Talk to your friend: The same thing can happen even if you live in a large city.

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I also suggest honestly asking yourself, "How would I feel if a friend of mine was dating my ex?